An overdue memo about the past year or so.
I am writing this seated by the aisle in the last row of Qatar flight to Singapore. A long queue of passengers waiting for the toilets forms up beside me, their butts sticking up my face from time to time – Not the most ideal situation to be writing a reflection, but long-haul flights do have the effect of throwing me into solace and recluse, and thus I shall endeavour to complete this post before the word spree in my head dries up.
I’d wanted to pen a memo at the close of 2008. But then, having left my job as a reporter and exploring a freelancer’s life for only six months, it felt pre-mature to look at a short journey that had yet to reveal its paths.
Going with the flow was my approach. It still is now, I want to live where life takes me, not strangle it.
I freed myself from the routine of the newsroom. No more answering the hungry demands of tomorrow’s stories, no more fire-fighting to fill pages on a day-to-day basis. The world became my oyster once again. It was also where the next chapter of my life began.
Some noteworthies and highlights in the last year or so:
-Having full access to the backstage at the Beijing Paralympics to watch athletes compete up-close.
-Fighting for a place on the pool photographer’s lorry to shoot the wheelchair marathon, and finally getting on it, armed with turbo lenses.
-Enduring 12 full-day street reportage assignments to:
Seoul- getting chased out of an arcade by an owner who wanted me arrested,
Mumbai -talking to Rohan and Art, shamelessly inviting myself to their homes
Shanghai – setting up stall with teenage girls, dressed up as a student to get into their school, and shooting in a lesbian bar.
-Living in a small German town with Marc and Bianca’s family for a week before their wedding, and feasting everyday on Siggy’s marvelous home-cooked food.
-Capsizing in a chilly rocky river in Laos after a strong swirl pushed me against some deadly weeds. My kayak, camping equipment, and camera all gushed downstream while I managed to get out of the skirting and surface for air without hitting any rocks. The most painful moment, was to pull the camera out of its water-filled drybag, to see water gushing out from the lens and card-slot and instantly feel my heart shatter.
-The relief of seeing Huey return in one-piece to campsite in the cold and pitch-darkness, in his raptured and sinking kayak.
-Entering a big dark and mysterious cave during the expedition.
-Shooting many weddings, and hearing couple’s speeches. Meeting again, many friends and schoolmates through wedding shoots =)
-Knowing KC from Greymatter, who unselfishly gave advice.
-Travelling a lot (yay!) – Mumbai, Hong Kong, Shanghai x2, Beijing x2, Guangzhou, Hefei, Seoul, Kuala Lumpur x many, Hanoi, Ho Chi Minh, Laos, Phnom Penh, Sihanoukville, Siem Reap, Bangkok, Adelaide, Berlin, Frankfurt, Sulz.
-Yoga Retreat at Ashram in Rocklyn, Australia, with fantastic organic meals from the garden
-Winning mentions at the IPA, and awards with WPJA.
-Reporting a Singapore International Foundation cancer story in Vietnam, and was surprised readers came forward to donate generously.
-Meeting president Obama, PM Lee, and MM Lee.
-Adjusting PM Lee’s tie during a shoot!
-And the horrors of getting an NKF interview for Al Jazeera.
It’s been lots of fun, lots of hardwork and sometimes sleepless nights.
If I’d stayed with the press, I would’ve probably scored more scoops, ring in more page ones and tally up with more bylines. There was the luxury of travel and time-off, with 21 days of annual leave plus off-days for working overtime and staking out on stories. Double that love with the occasional luxury-packed junkets, which are like holidays on assignments. I’d also be on my way to a promotion, a juicy bonus, more capital for investment, a nice car and perhaps an apartment – steps of a ladder of social constructs that make us feel normal and secure, such a Singaporean way of life.
I loved that job, it was almost perfect. But I needed to sooth that voice inside for contentment.
In 2004, ‘05 and ‘06 three friends took their lives. With each, I was jolted – to make my time count more than material accumulation.
When work sent me to cover the freak deaths of 5 dragonboat rowers who drowned after a race in Cambodia, I felt pretty shaken after the reports. Two team coaches whom I respect dearly from my days in the dragonboat fraternity, were sort of, implicated. I had to interview them, approach former teammates and attend the rowers’ funerals. It was a very difficult time and position to be in.
Then, while serving my last month’s notice at work, life slapped me again when a family of four Singaporeans died in a car crash on Malaysia’s North-south highway. All except their two-month baby girl survived. I was sent up to Muar to cover the story and will never forget witnessing their loved ones claim their bodies, one by one, from an open morgue.
It’s stark.
There’s only one life to live, why spend the youthful years wondering what if?
Here I am, trying everyday using what I know I can grasp, letting the adventure take off, most importantly, enjoying the ride.
My coach, Mr Yong, used to lend us this quote, the Olympic creed: “The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well.”
by mtan2
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